Talk it out. Once you realize you’re entitled to your emotions, find an outlet for them. Talking about your feelings and your struggles can be a huge release and allow you to receive the support you need. If your family or friends don’t understand your sadness (or you find it hard to contain your baby envy around friends with more than one child), seek out people in your same situation. Find a support group for people with secondary infertility — online or in your area. And consider joining WTE's Trying to Conceive group to find moms who are also coping with secondary infertility.
Most parents have a mental image of their ideal family, and if they find themselves unable to make that happen, it can be devastating. Infertility is heartbreaking and stressful, whether you have a child or not. In fact, being a parent adds a layer of complexity. For one thing, parents are immersed in the world of kids, so it's impossible to avoid all the babies and pregnant bellies that remind you of what you're missing. Plus, "parents with secondary infertility don't often get much sympathy, so they end up feeling as though they don't have a right to be sad," says Marie Davidson, Ph.D., a psychologist at Fertility Centers of Illinois. In fact, they're often told to appreciate the child they have (as if they don't). Finally, many parents feel guilt on two fronts: for not giving their child a sibling and for directing some of their focus and resources away from that child.
Secondary infertility can be traced to either partner or both partners. About one-third of cases originate in women and about one-third originate in men. In the remaining one-third, the cause is due to a combination of factors or isn’t known. Increased age, complications from a prior pregnancy or surgery, increased weight, medications, sexually transmitted diseases, impaired sperm production, alcohol abuse, and smoking are all examples of secondary infertility in women and men.
Use our website links to find your nearest clinic, or fill out our online contact form. You may want to discuss the pros and cons of IUI and IVF or you may just want to explore all the options that might be available. The sooner you take that first step to discuss your fertility issues with one of our physicians, the sooner you can decide on the next step in your fertility journey and take one step closer to achieving your dream of holding your own new baby in your arms.
With each year that passes, your chances of conceiving decrease significantly, says Julie Tan, M.D., a gynecologist at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Reproductive Medicine, in Ohio. Sometimes even doctors downplay infertility, she notes. Most experts recommend seeing your doc after a year of unsuccessful unprotected sex if you're under age 35 and after six months if you're over 35. But if you're worried sooner, speak up. "If it's been three months and you're concerned, it's not too early to get evaluated, even though it may be premature to treat," explains Dr. Grifo. "Waiting a year to find out there's an issue with sperm count or egg supply can lead to a lot of heartache." You can start with your primary-care doc or ob-gyn but if you're not pregnant after a few months or feel your doctor isn't taking the situation seriously, see a fertility specialist.
3-6 months of treatment with Clomid pills (clomiphene citrate) might improve fertility by as much as 2 times as compared to no treatment. This is a very low level infertility treatment. Infertility specialists do not usually recommend Clomid treatment( without insemination) for unexplained infertility for women over the age of about 35. Most fertility specialists do not use it (without IUI) on any couples with unexplained infertility. If a woman is already having regular periods and ovulating one egg every month, giving Clomid, which will probably stimulate the ovaries to release 2 or 3 eggs per month (instead of one) is not really fixing anything that is broken - and is not likely to be successful.